Question: Dreams vs. Reality

Why is it reality is concrete? People say, “The concretness of reality struck me.”
To use that term for dreams is hidious. One would never say the concreteness of the dreamtime unless it was to awaken you to reality.  
Dreams are more cloudlike even if they are nightmares. But are dreams any less a reality than that which we call reality? I already dream in color, at times even taste items, touch, and of course sound so what is left?
I am not sure what I am asking for but tonight I shall endeavor to have concrete dreams.


Looking in my window


I wonder if the moon looks in my window while I sleep.
I watch as he lowers and raises in the sky.
Dancing to a pull only he can hear.
Should I venture out and dance to the silent music or stay safely sitting upon my bed?
What grace he possess calm power able to comand violence …..or love
Moving through the sky manipulating lives awake or asleep pulled into his wake
I wonder,  do I shine and reflect like a star in his eyes or a gentle radiance or a dull stutter in time?

Outside looking in



Courage & Insanity

Coeurrage, my email address is such, coeur meaning heart in French and rage that burning fire. It take coeurrage, the rage of the heart to make art.  It is the courage of creativity to not be status quo or mundane. Artist, being all artists visual, movement, written musical, all artists are dreamers of dreams seers of visions and those who live within the nightmares and dare to expose them are the most courageous of all.

To meditate and live in the sea of calm is delightful, peaceful and to some awakening. I do believe in meditation as it is quite healing but it is not creative.  Art is not produced from a calm lake rather from the stormy sea. It is by entering the sea and re-emerging alive, awake that one is creative.

There is no struggle to produce the flower print that hangs over many couches bought from a department store. Perhaps the buyer believes they demonstrated great courage in choosing the bright red poppy tinged with orange as did a million others. Just as the first person to piece a nose or eyebrow thought themselves unique and yet today are as commonplace and boring as the fast food drive through on every corner. To not pierce now takes more courage. The very difference is our sameness.

The is only one individual you as there is only one individual me.  I can not be creative and live as a shadow. In being me I can only be whom I truly am and therefore can I only make art. For many years I tried, no struggled with being who I should be, what a good mom is or a teacher or member of society and failed at each and every one. Only at the times when I was authentic did I succeed. If that meant telling my daughter imaginary bears living on clouds looked after her and protected her when I wasn’t around or cutting palm trees out of cardboard painting them pink and lavender to put in the living room because I have never been to Hawaii and wanted to feel it’s energy or even simple things like cayenne pepper in coffee only then could I be authentically me.

I once had my nose pierced something I wanted to do since art school. My supervisor said if I took out the ring I could get the job promotion I wanted. The day I removed it as I left work a man walked in looking for an office. He had just been hired for the job I wanted and was promised.  I never walked back in.  What I did learn is who I am is who I am and who I must be.

To walk away from a paycheck is perhaps insane but not to is insanity.  As all the 12 step programs preach doing the same thing over and over and getting the same results is insanity. I choose to enter the room: in sane, to be within the room of sanity, the sane room, the only room which allows me to be me, create authentic me. It takes courage to make art, to be authentic not to is insanity.


Night Light

Moving through the night stillness



One would not think of loyalty as a bad thing but I think for me too much loyalty is not a good thing.  I am too loyal. If you are my friend or I care about you I have your back 100%+ and I discovered that is not good.  I am too loyal.  People need someone to have their back but they also must stand up alone. It deprives people of experiencing the ability to fight, win or lose their own battles to be a single point alone and strong.

To me I want someone in my life who is loyal and who I know will always have my back but I want to stand up for myself.  So loyalty is very important to me.  A person’s word and their integrity are all linked together with loyalty.  I am still in the process of discovery about this so I hope this post makes sense.  It is also not directed at anyone so please if you read this do not take it personally as it is only directed towards me, myself and I.  I am very interested in hearing your thoughts and feelings about loyalty so please share. Maybe being to loyal to others is not being loyal to myself.  The question I should ask myself is

“What am I willing to live for?” “What am I loyal to in myself?”

Awaken the Snake

Awaken Awaken from the sleep of darkness and mystery

Awaken to the dreamtime to the active dream

the moment of doing

no longer asleep and weary

thought produces kinetic energy for motion

no longer searching for answers they begin to appear

I can not look

like catching a glimpse of ethereal movement

a snake slowly begins to uncurl

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