Well, I voted in the US presidential election and feel more like returning from a weird funeral or blood drive then the county justice hall. The ballot machine was inside a cardboard box for privacy and ballots were in languages other than english. When I completed my ballot I was given a chocolate chip cookie.
This portends a strange election.
(The Queen Mother did not get her name on the ballot therefore one was unable to write in a vote.)


Cows and Elephants


Four angry cows , 2 adult 2 young and at least one bull spent the night in my yard yelling their heads off to the one outside. All night I dreamed about elephants.  This morning the Livestock dept. Told me they would “put my call in the hopper and see if anyone could come out.”


Foot prints.


It’s a good 4″ deep.
My neighbor who says she can sleep through anything heard them this morning and being from Wisconsin she chased them over the fence. Her parting comment was they are more scared of you then you are of them. I’m 5’2″ there are four cattle the smallest being 2 tons. Somehow I don’t agree but I’m from The Bronx not Wisconsin. 
I keep thinking about how friendly all the OG’s  I knew were. I’d take a gangsta over a cow. It’s only 5:30 in the morning all I can think of is a thick juicy sirloin, and elephants.
Maybe it’s just as well the lighting didn’t hit one I’d never haul it away. My neighbor said she could butcher it. Not top of my list.
I sure am learning a lot.


Blogging 101 said to post something creepy.
This was creepy! Here I was working in the backyard building an ocean on the desert floor moving rocks from here to there when
Silent and deadly comes up from behind. 6 feet of desert death, not a rattle not a sound. His body as thick as a python, primordial slithering by less than arm distance away.


Prehistoric Pathway


As I was moving rocks to create a zen space a prehistoric reptile slithered up from behind me less than an arms reach from my left side.
I think it was the raccoon stripes before the rattle that mesmerized me. No sound but a soul stealing fear caused me to break out in a sweat.
This prehistoric reptile, over 6′ diamondback rattlesnake was closer than 2 feet from me moving soundlessly disappearing under my house.
It has been 2 days with no sign.
An Apache medicine man told me to place prayer ties in the 4 directions. A woman offered roadrunner feathers to attach to the ties. Road runners are a natural enemy to rattlesnakes. I am waiting for the feathers. Needless to say I keep looking over my shoulder when outside.
Some say to shoot it, others to relocate it. A few even offered to catch and relocate for me. The last offer is most interesting since the closest person making the offer is 30 minutes drive from my house, assuming they were already in the car.
So I only have one question: how does one entertain a 6′ diamondback rattlesnake for 30+ minutes.

I’m not in Kansas

I woke up this morning in the same place I went to bed. I am grateful for that.

Last night we had winds of 32 to 48 miles an hour. The alum can was rocking and rolling. I went on line seeking comfort only to find out that 50 mile an hour winds for 3 seconds can blow over an alum can. (trailer)

The winds are now 12 to 30 miles an hour and so far all I have found are some wooden boards blown down and a garden gate blown (I hope) opened. I was half way hoping some of the bird cage buildings would have been blown down so I didn’t have to tear them down but of course that didn’t happen. Which is all good because I did buy a bright yellow hard hat to wear while working on that and I do want the opportunity to sport it.

So here I am in the same place as I was.

Emblazoned Imposter

The wind is relentless
Circling banging on walls rattling windows
Forcing its way in through any space
Unwelcome presence it announces itself
Howling and voiceless
A show of power
A denial of the existence of any other but itself
Laughing at my humanity
It continues to swirl
I wonder at the disarray I will discover tomorrow
Destruction done from a center of evil joy
Destruction that is no more than the essence of a winter wind
Tonight I shall keep a candle close
Its presence brings comfort against the emblazoned imposter

Suicide Moth

photo-244I woke up this morning to find a gentle creature had committed suicide in a dish I was too lazy to wash last night and left to soak. It was senseless and I am sure not his choice. I feel some what responsible and will no longer leave water in a dish over night.

What it did bring to mind was another suicide. One done years ago by a man who fought addiction most of his life. We had a relationship which went the way those type go: in the steady direction of disaster. It began in love and blind, then desperate for his approval and told by all the counselors it was my fault, my responsibility as the normal one, to the break up stage and heart break, to hope and belief in the promises of being clean and never again. From there to anger and hope to anger again. Until the ultimate numbness and not caring, finally being over it. Two years later out of the blue he called as if nothing had happened, no time had passed. By this time it was too late, too much had happened and healing had actually occurred so I told him I did not wish to speak with him ever again. I did not know his body had been shutting down, he was losing control of functions, the drugs the dr. prescribed had voices talking to him. It was a few days later he put a gun into his mouth and ended his life. His best friend tried to blame me for not talking to him although they were living together and if anyone could see the signs it would have been him. I do not take responsibility for his death.

What I do is to feel grateful for those friends and family I love and who love me. With some relationships I have gotten to the numbing out point, tired of trying and hoping. To the others there is only joy, respect and love. As today is Thanksgiving, a holiday I do not really celebrate but the mood has overcome me and I am grateful for all the kind and wonderful people in my life.

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