Walking Blind

For the past few weeks I have been walking blind. Not really blind but -13 vision means that big green E on the eye chart looks like a hazy green smudge. I found myself touching the inside of the teacup to keep from over filling it. I had to stop working on the yard. In one way it was good because what I didn’t see I couldn’t fear. But what I didn’t see could be deadly so I stopped yard work. I did work around inside.
Days and nights have been bitter cold highs of 30°.  Using a chainsaw is impossible if you can’t see so the electric heaters worked overtime.
With great bravado I walked 2 miles each way to the mailbox. Haha, wearing cowgirl boots with heels caused slipping on dirt and rolling over rocks. I stopped short at the cattle crossing. Must have channeled cow fear because logically there is no way I could fall between the bars but it was dark down there and maybe the troll who lives under the bridge moved to under the cattle crossing. Who knows.
My neighbor warned me the javalinas are very dangerous and agressive but sound like train engines in the bushes. The wind howls like an engine as it whips around houses and through poles. I just set my mind that if I can’t see it I can’t fear it.
I did find out the two things I could do was crochet or weave. Could not draw nor write. Can’t see the computer screen. Certainly can’t drive.
It has been a stressful even frustrating time but I have come to understand and appriciate better what others go through. Monday I have surgery on my eye and expect all well after the healing.
Hard not to take things for granted. I have a respect and appriciation I never had at 21. Perhaps you will have a little more patience with the person moving slowly before you or taking an extra amount of time to make up their mind.
I know I shall.


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