1. If I fall down the gopher hole is it the same as Alice down the rabbit hole? Did Alice have invisible scorpions in her rabbit hole?
2. Do I shoot the rattlesnake or let him go even if it means I can’t get into my truck?
3. If I accessorize Arizona style, do I wear the holster when I pee or remove it?
4. When did Duck tape become useless?
5. If the poison really does work will the gophers come above ground to die? Then what do I do with the bodies?
6. The red ants are enjoying the gopher poison as if it was a picnic. Now what do I do about the red ants?
7. And did it rain water or black ants? How could so many ant hills erupt over night?
8. Is it strange I can recognize the lizards?
9. Should I wear my jeans inside my boots, Arizona style or outside?
10. Will I ever miss neon lights and the sound of slot machines?
Imprint my size 5 boot left as the heel went over the ankle in mud and into the highway of gopher tunnels.