No Pants

This morning I was in the middle of getting dressed when I decided I was hungry and it being 10 am I should actually make breakfast. I had little chopped meat, frozen french bread and lettuce. So pbviously breakfast was a burger. Not having any mayonnaise it was up to me to spice it well. all was going great. I took the French Bread from the refrigerator smacked it against the  Cabinet corner and broke off the exact right size. Nice!

Next I put the frozen bread in the oven to broil. Too thick so I get my bread knife to cut it down the middle.  If you have ever tried to cut frozen bread it is a bit of a challenged. As I am cutting I think what if the knife slips and I  cut off my finger? I don’t have any pants on! I cut a bit more then thought this is not good. The bread went back in the oven, my pants went on and I finished cutting the bread without incident. I could only imagine the horror if I had not put on my pants. Would they take me to the hospital without pants? I think from now on I shall always dress completely before cooking or cutting frozen bread.


In the studio

I was working in my new studio today as people wander through. A couple came into the studio and looked around making comments on the art. As they were about to leave they asked my name. Yotaki, I said and they smiled we talked about the name and what it means little one with energy or in Japanese Evening Fall. The man turns to me with a pleasant smile and says, “It matches your face.” I smiled a bit confused. As he passed through the doorway he turned and completed his statement, “very pretty.”

Wow, that just made my day ever so much brighter. It kept me smiling for the next four hours of painting. Just a simple kindness from a stranger can do so much.

Here Mom

The other day my son, (who is grown, 27), and I went on a long trip in the truck. He had not eaten breakfast so as I pumped gas he went into the convenience store and bought food. A breakfast of champions, ice cream bar, something sweet, not really sure what it was and 2 bags of Doritos chips. After a long day when I dropped him off he turns and looks at the two uneaten bags of chips and says, “here mom you take them.” As he is about to close the door he opens it and reaches in gabbing a bag.  “Mom, you take a bag and I take one to give to the homeless.”

There were times I looked at the seat next to me, hungry, eying the chips, but I remembered my son’s words. Yesterday my son had a bad case of food poisoning, on his diet I am not sure how that happened :0), so I went over to be mom doctor. After a few hours I left to attend a lecture but told him to call if he needed anything.  Of course in the middle I got a text but was told no emergency come when the talk was finished. It ended up I spent the night on his couch. Mom’s do that sort of thing even when their boys are grown up.

This morning as I drove home I saw a homeless man inching his way between cars begging.  Somehow this seemed like the one. As he approached I gave him the bag of chips, in a weak and quiet voice he said thank you.

My son taught me a beautiful lesson on that trip and I am glad I was able to fulfill his request to give it away.


Found him standing on my balcony. A shell of his former self.





The gap between dreams and reality contains the void. It is within the void, the darkness where one creates. Life changes here for this is the place of birth.

One of the wisest quotes I have ever read was said by Rodgers & Hammerstein, “ You’ve got to have a dream to make a dream come true.”

What if you have lost that dream? Accomplished it and can’t replace the dream or never had one? How does one find or does one create a dream? It is here within the blackest of voids surrounded by loneliness and despair alone one searches, one hopes to stumble upon the seed that will develop into the great passion, the fiery essence of a dream.

What is once lost shall never be found for it is never as it was. I can spend hours, days even years expounding the void, the darkest vortex but here is the blackest fog is a dream, my dream. I know that with every particle of my being. If only it were a room with four wall rather than the universe with infinite possibilities.

A dream is bigger than current reality. It is living the adventure called life. Climb out of the seashell that has imprisoned. Let the light call out in sweet melody.

Purpose excites memory lifting the veil of forgetfulness. Purpose touches one’s heart, awakening from the non-reality of slumber. I begin to remember who I am and why I am here.

Like a road map of stars, each leads me out of the darkness to enter a physical form, to enter my body with knowledge of who I am. For purpose is who one is.

Eliminating all aspects of life that are inconsistent with my purpose I feel the fuel of passion. Passion creates action. Climb aboard the magic carpet and fly about the universe, Use the magic to produce extraordinary results, extraordinary life.  Anything is possible as long as I believe.  The gossamer wings of hope are fragile and easily broken by a glance or word. Even one delivered without malice can be the destruction of a dream. Passion ‘s fire strengthens not destroys. Trust the dream. No limiting beliefs. A dream is bigger than current reality.

Dreams emerging from the dark void push the purpose up as purpose is whom I am. The nightmares and fears swirl about trying to destroy what has finally emerged ad the great challenge of life.

Breaking through the barriers, doubts clings like the silvery spiders web weighing me down. Passion burns drying out the fears until once again I am free to roam. 

In the womb of the universe is darkness, unknown, fears dance with abandon, emptiness inviting the soul to open, the eyes to see and the body to be.

Yotaki 9/24/2013