Courage & Insanity

Coeurrage, my email address is such, coeur meaning heart in French and rage that burning fire. It take coeurrage, the rage of the heart to make art.  It is the courage of creativity to not be status quo or mundane. Artist, being all artists visual, movement, written musical, all artists are dreamers of dreams seers of visions and those who live within the nightmares and dare to expose them are the most courageous of all.

To meditate and live in the sea of calm is delightful, peaceful and to some awakening. I do believe in meditation as it is quite healing but it is not creative.  Art is not produced from a calm lake rather from the stormy sea. It is by entering the sea and re-emerging alive, awake that one is creative.

There is no struggle to produce the flower print that hangs over many couches bought from a department store. Perhaps the buyer believes they demonstrated great courage in choosing the bright red poppy tinged with orange as did a million others. Just as the first person to piece a nose or eyebrow thought themselves unique and yet today are as commonplace and boring as the fast food drive through on every corner. To not pierce now takes more courage. The very difference is our sameness.

The is only one individual you as there is only one individual me.  I can not be creative and live as a shadow. In being me I can only be whom I truly am and therefore can I only make art. For many years I tried, no struggled with being who I should be, what a good mom is or a teacher or member of society and failed at each and every one. Only at the times when I was authentic did I succeed. If that meant telling my daughter imaginary bears living on clouds looked after her and protected her when I wasn’t around or cutting palm trees out of cardboard painting them pink and lavender to put in the living room because I have never been to Hawaii and wanted to feel it’s energy or even simple things like cayenne pepper in coffee only then could I be authentically me.

I once had my nose pierced something I wanted to do since art school. My supervisor said if I took out the ring I could get the job promotion I wanted. The day I removed it as I left work a man walked in looking for an office. He had just been hired for the job I wanted and was promised.  I never walked back in.  What I did learn is who I am is who I am and who I must be.

To walk away from a paycheck is perhaps insane but not to is insanity.  As all the 12 step programs preach doing the same thing over and over and getting the same results is insanity. I choose to enter the room: in sane, to be within the room of sanity, the sane room, the only room which allows me to be me, create authentic me. It takes courage to make art, to be authentic not to is insanity.



2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Aurora HSP
    Nov 11, 2012 @ 16:51:42

    Loving your last line, so heartening 🙂 xo


  2. beautywalk
    Nov 11, 2012 @ 16:54:31

    Thank you, I thought of you as I wrote it. I knew you of all people would understand. :0) Yotaki


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